Carmen's Bowl

29/10 CARMEN'S BOWL

Self portrait J.Gurr '15

 

Fruit salad long has been a graveyard for fruit, where little joy is ever found. A serious issue that needs addressing and something I feel obsessive about. Through all civilisation an abundance of fruit has been a rare joyous thing, a vision of promise. Never more apparent than when cascading from Carmen Miranda's head, but somewhere along the way it fell into a bowl and died.

I come from a family of fruit old-masters, My Mother and Grandmother can outdo Botticelli or Caravaggio in a fruit platter any day. However I have grown up always loathing fruit salad. It has always been the place to carelessly throw remaining fruit together, a by by-product of their fruit renaissance. Chunks of browning apple, banana, orange in a bowl inspired the most passionate hatred - enough to take action.

I've been working to give fruit salad its own renaissance, letting the inner Carmen Miranda take over. This is more a method than recipe, apply where you please, it's what you do with the fruits that are given to you.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

1 Banana
2/3 Mango
1 Kiwi Fruit
1/2 dozen Strawberries
Handfull Grapes
2 Passion fruit
1 tbls Maple Syrup



What I did - Less recipe than philosophy 

SIZE - No matter what fruit you have at hand or what you intend to use, the key is to slice everything small, almost "what was this to start with" small. I can't tell you how to chop everything, but as a guide Bananas are cut into quarters lengthways and then diced. Grapes are cut into three or four transparent discs and strawberries are cut into small ruby shards. This ensures that with every mouthful you are getting a complete symphony of fruit, not an out of tune soloist.

FRUIT - The choice of fruit is entirely dependant on what you have and what's in season, leaving you with little control. The important decision is what not to use, and to me the the only permanent emission from any fruit salad is apple - that's a deal breaker ladies*. Base what to use on the textures, sweetness, colour, season and if there's something especially good available. 

DRESSING - The final step is something usually reserved for savoury salads, but it makes perfect sense to unify the varied fruits with a dressing. My go to is Maple Syrup (as good quality as possible, should be able to taste the sap) cautiously drizzled over and turned through the fruit. The woody sweetness shouldn't overpower, instead enhance the flavours and unify all the natural juices. It also gives a ridiculous gloss, akin to Carrie Bradshaws 90s lipgloss. Final step is to whip the sweetness back in line, the pulp of a passion fruit or a small squeeze of lemon does the trick.

Trust in the force, and the fruit salad will be strong with you. Also so delicious you will Carmen Miranda about with a fruity glow for days.

JG

*There is nothing about the acidic burn or crisp texture that brings anything to the bowl - and spurned my mistaken loathing for fruit salad. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES EVER USE APPLE, there is a reason Snow White died 🍏😵.

 

Villainous Popcorn

20/10 BURNT CARAMEL POPCORN

Addiction is not to be taken lightly and, like Gollum's uncontrollable lust for the ring, this is mine. Popcorn, the one snack to rule them all. Cinema is my one true love, add popcorn for an addiction I will take to my grave - eat enough that wont be long.

The notion of Burnt-Salted-Caramel-Popcorn is so grossly on trend right now, but I promise there was no intention of it being as such. Instead it ticks all the block(heart)buster boxes and is so wildly moreish there is no escape. The amber shards of bittersweet caramel with the ethereal salted popcorn are a dichotomy of dark and light inspired by the greatest cinematic duels. Opposite forces intrinsically linked, catastrophic and delicious. Don't tempt me indeed, give in to the burnt-caramel side of the corn.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

1 cup Popcorn Kernels
1 cup Sugar
100g Unsalted Butter
1 1/2 tlbs Salt (flakes)


What I did - 

First step - Pop the corn. Start by melting the butter with 1/2 tablespoon of salt in a large deep pan (30cm or so). Add in the orange popcorn kernels and stir until the butter has completely melted.
Put the lid on and wait until you start to hear a symphony of miniature explosions. Using a tea towel hold the lid in place and shake over the heat - just so the popped corn doesn't stick and burn. Once the rattle subsides turn the heat off and rest until silent. Tip into a large bowl to cool, scattering over the remaining salt flakes.

The next part is not difficult at all, just involves patience and calm - both of which I lack resulting in a failed first attempt. However, if you do nothing but wait patiently it will be fine. Tip the sugar into a heavy bottomed saucepan, ideally cast-iron or copper. Put onto a low heat until the sugar has melted. DO NOT STIR, you can swirl the pan if the caramel is darkening too quickly, anything else will crystalize the sugar (my initial downfall). Once it has reached a dark burnished gold it is ready.

Now is the time to act quickly - but calmly. Just breathe. The caramel cant be off the heat or else it will harden instantly, so swiftly tip it over the popcorn and using a large wooden spoon as fast as you can mix it through. Don't be afraid to use force, the caramel will fight back. Turn it onto a baking tray and spread it out as much as possible. Its easiest to crack it now before it sets too hard and stick to the tray, using the spoon keep it moving and cracking until its set.

By this stage its easiest to use your hand to crumble the golden shards and puffy corn into a large bowl ready for an epic movie. It wont be sickly sweet - instead salty, buttery and bittersweet. It's my precious.

JG

Day-O

10/10 DAY-O

I'm not a morning or breakfast person. Well, in my own way I am - but I need an hour before the world should deal with me - and I firmly believe that breakfast should be taken slow from 10am. However the exhaustion felt at the end of the day has made me rethink unless I want to feel like the soggy brown bananas sitting in my fruit bowl. Daylight comes and I want to stay home.

Bananas should give you all the Josephine Baker energy you need, but there is no way I was going to put that soggy brown thing in my mouth. Luckily I prepared - what even - and froze the bananas the night before with the hope that they'll make the most addictive milkshake. It will bring all the boys to the yard.


Ingredients (all approximate) -

1 frozen Banana (black and large)
200ml milk (well however much to cover the banana)
Cocoa powder (for exoticism)

What I did - 

Make sure that you strip the bananas of their blackened skins and dice them into large pieces, freeze them overnight in a zip lock bag. This should firm up the soft meat and stop the ripening, but remember these cant be defrosted again - only blasted to smithereens in a blender.

Fast forward to the morning, where I know the idea of loud noises is painful but only for a few seconds. Put the frozen pieces in a blender, I hade a huge banana so only used one, if its smaller you could double up. The add milk until the bananas are just submerged then blitz.

They should take only a few seconds before they whir up into a smooth aerated thick-shake. The texture is similar to that if you used ice-cream, the starch in the banana helps thicken the milk and creates the creamy body. I found this Mayan chilli cocoa powder so for the sake of adventure I sprinkled a little on top.

I have a feeling over summer there will be more experiments with different fruits and spices, but as a base this is solid. Now black bananas should keep us all dancing like Josephine.

JG

Jungle Fever

06/10 JUNGLE FEVER

Jungle fever is something I usually associate with the image of an animalistic Grace Jones, growling from inside a cage. Today her spirit possesses me. I find myself prowling the kitchen, knowing that nothing can be done about the hell-on-earth heat outside. I feel that if there is something cooling to eat, then eventually the world will calm down. We can hope.

Staying in the jungle, my fridge is overgrown with vegetables so whats been created is a great green bowl. Something close to foraging a meal from under a leafy canopy. The only rule to follow is keep everything green, and that broccoli-avocado are a perfect match - natural selection really. Keep it chilled for when appetite hits and it should be cooling, light and punchy enough to tame a wild beast in heat. I am a leo after all.


Ingredients (all approximate) -

1-2 Avocado
2 Heads of Broccoli
Lots of rocket or any leafy green
6 spring onions (or to taste, but be wary of onion strength)
2 large lemon
Large bunch of Coriander
50g goats cheese (had less than desired so substituted with caper berries)
Pinch of chilli
Salt+Pepper
Olive oil

What I did - Gin & Tonic on the side

First and lastly prepared the broccoli.  Cut all the smaller heads off the stem and steam for no longer than 3-4 minutes, make sure they stay crunchy or it will make the salad soggy and heavy.

In that time (and I promise is won't take longer) prepare the other ingredients. Tear up the rocket/leafy green with your hands so that no knives will be needed when served. Add to large salad bowl. Using kitchen scissors chop the coriander and spring onion over the bowl - ensuring that the slimy outer skins have been stripped from the spring onion.

Halve and forcefully squeeze the lemons over the green mix, letting out all the heat induced frustration. Using a spoon scoop out curls of avocado and crumble the goats cheese over the bowl. By this stage the broccoli is more than ready, may need to check beforehand if you feel they are cooking too fast. Shake them over the sink to release any excess water and add them to the bowl.

Give the green bowl a solid mix with tongs (I use my hands if I'm not in distinguished company). The heat from the broccoli should soften the avocado and cheese which coheres all the ingredients. Add any oil/salt/pepper to taste. Last flourish is a sprinkle of chilli, not for heat, to pair with the lemon juice and give the greens new life.

The lion will sleep tonight.

JG

Technicolor Salmon

02/10 - TECHNICOLOR SALMON

A very good friend of mine told me that what you eat should be as colourful as possible. Not meant as hyperbole or metaphor, a literal philosophy that a plate should be full of colour. And in a bizarre way somehow makes perfect sense. Cooking with colour means that the wider spectrum in what you eat, the better, more balanced, all the health blah blah you need - but mainly it always looks and tastes better.

So technicolour dreams in my head and the sun menacingly hot - the horror, the horror - I was stuck with a pair of pink salmon fillets. Of course when you use pink more is always more, think Madonna's confessions era, so i gathered all the ingredients I had and created a camp summery lunch. Nothing too complicated, chucked together in about 15 minutes. Just enough time to start a second glass of rose.

Ingredients (all approximate) -

2 Small Salmon fillets (maybe 200g each)
1 slosh of thick Soy Sauce
1 tsp honey
1 pinch chilli flakes (or paste)
1 tsp wasabi
Salt+Pepper

Red Cabbage (couple of leaves)
Olive oil to griddle

Coriander to garnish (if you're feeling fancy, this salmon had to get ready for its close up)

What I did - 

The first thing to do is drown the salmon in a marinade. Put the fish in a tupperware container and just added everything to that. I go by the marinade rule of some salt, some sweet and some spice - and never hold back. So I used the salty soy, the sweet honey and the wasabi/chilli for spice. Massage everything together, use a spoon if you're not down for sticky fingers, and let sit in the fridge until time to cook (max couple of hours).

The easiest way to cook the fish (and avoid salmonella-ella) is to throw it under a blistering grill until they come out dark and gleaming - say 10 minutes or so. Also be sure to pour all the marinade over the top, most will run off but what sticks will caramelise like toffee.

While the salmon is grilling I got the rest of my pink going, the charred red cabbage. Okay so not strictly pink, more a deep purple. I use a cast iron griddle, preheated as hot as possible - always keep it dry, don't oil it like a frypan. Slick the cabbage leaves with a little oil and then throw them on the griddle until they start smoking. Flip the leaves after a few minutes and grill the other side until both have black scorch marks - embrace the charring.

That is essentially it, not much really, but has everything I was craving in the heat. I served the salmon on top of the cabbage to enhance the scorched pinkness. I only put the two together because I was had the urge, but happily the salmons sweetness brings out the same in the cooked cabbage, and the mild cabbage tones down my heavy handed marinade.

So all I did was marinade, grill and scorch two ingredients yet the technicolor-table idea was never far from my mind. Indeed I downed a bottle glass of rose in the process, and another when eating. All that was missing was the summertime gaiety of a noel coward play. I hope we all have a fabulous meal to brace for the imminent glare of summer, I've found mine ;)

JG

Whole Roast Pumpkin

HALLOWEEN APPROACHES - WHOLE ROAST PUMPKIN

Today defiantly sitting in my fridge was a whole pumpkin and... little else. There are many things you could do with a pumpkin: roast it, blend it, grate it. None of which seemed particularly fun. However after realising that Halloween is just around the corner why not follow Dr. Frankenstein and give the sad looking pumpkin new life.

Essentially it is a stuffed pumpkin, and the recipe is one of those ones you can prepare with any filling substitutions you could think of/have handy and leave it in the oven. Today I had onion and goats cheese, both of which should hopefully add punch to what looked like a lacklustre pumpkin.


Ingredients (all approximate) -

1 Small Pumpkin (about 750g)
1 Brown onion
1 Garlic clove
1 Large mushroom
50g Goats cheese
1 small handful parsley (fresh or dried)
Salt+Pepper
Olive oil to roast

What I did - Preheat your oven to 180degrees celsius

Firstly crown the pumpkin with a small sharp knife, cutting right through the flesh and round the top. Then using a spoon, or your hands but the texture makes me squirm, scrape out all the seeds and pulp. Turn the body over and make three small incisions through the flesh. Then leave the hollowed pumpkin aside for its new guts.

In a mixing bowl, crumble the goats cheese and add the pepper. Mince the garlic clove and slice the onion into half-moons then add to the mixing bowl. Finely dice the mushroom and parsley and roughly mix all together.

Now fill the pumpkin with the onion mixture. Pack it quite tight, as the onions will reduce in the oven. Put the lid back on and roast in the oven on a baking tray. The tray will collect all the moisture that will escape through the cuts in the bottom of pumpkins, otherwise it will effectively boil the onion.  Leave in oven for about 2 hours, or until the skin has blackened and started to bubble.

Let sit for a few minutes to cool and for the pumpkin for firm up before cutting to serve. It worked quite well, if you try it and do something differently - with no doubt better results - let me know :)

JG

Never the Last Supper

There comes a time every week, everyday almost, when I find myself staring into the glaring abyss of the fridge. The fridge is a place that no matter how well stocked I always find hunger so uninspired by the random collection of groceries in front of me. However from this despair comes an urge to experiment with whatever my kitchen presents, these orphaned ingredients. Desperation drives creativity, so when options are limited, like Frankensteins monster, a ramshackle meal will be created - for better or worse.

Here I simply want to record and share the meals created. Most of them are inspired by something I've cooked before, or a recreation of a memorable meal from a restaurant or that which was just thrown together. Aside from some basics there are no recipes followed.

Your kitchen doesn't follow a cookbook and, unless you purpose buy the ingredients, kitchen improvisation will always deliver something. Whether they are any good I leave up to the my poor friends and family who sample the creations, and those of you who dare to try them yourselves.

This is how I learned to stop worrying and love the fridge.

Jim