Jammed

09/08 JAMMED

This - for me - is absolutely eating the forbidden fruit. I have always longed to know what the appeal of peanut butter is, and being an allergic one, have never been able to indulge. Until now. I have discovered my equivalent in Almond Butter. So please indulge this "recipe" and let me have this moment of pure bliss.

The blackberry jam is probably the only cooking that need happen, and was only because there happened to be a very fruitful blackberry bramble in the front garden. I collected all the fruit it spawned and couldn't eat them quick enough - found myself in a jam. This recipe is really a revelation, my coming-out and learning that I do really love nut butter. Jokes aside, this is beyond deliciousness and I'm very sorry to have discovered it.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

Good Sourdough Loaf (like really really sell-your-soul good)
250g Blackberries
250g Castor sugar
Crunchy Almond Butter


What I did - 

I know that toast is not a recipe. But this is more an assembly instruction then recipe.

The only cooking required is the jam (which you can buy, but i'm feeling domestic). Boil the berries and sugar together in a small pan for about 10 minutes until glistening, scalding and thick. Allow to cool in the pan and then transfer to a couple of (sterilised) jars. Use a small bit of baking paper to seal under the cap.

Cut a hearty slice of the bread. Toast as desired (slightly just past golden is perfect here). Spread the heady nut butter thick on the bread. Let a heaped tablespoon of the jam fall on to and allow to drip through the bread down the sides.

Eat in bed with some early morning viewing. I have just discovered heaven and it tastes so good.

JG

Peachy Hot Bed

21/11 HOT BED

We all want to dive under a blanket at the best of times, a hot warm blanket to melt under while the winter sets in. These are the times when energy is at an all time low, and you really want to cover yourself and forget about the rest of the world. 

Indeed this recipe is found hiding under its own crumbly blanket. A soft bed of fleshy, sweet and hot fruit robed in a dusting of glorious crumbs. The only thing this bed needs is a good spoon. And you have two choices - big spoon or little spoon. Also both benefit from cream.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

3 Old Peaches
75g Butter
75g Sugar
75g Flour


What I did - 

Arrange the slightly old soggy peaches around a small baking dish (this is a small recipe for three to four at most). They should all be standing on their backs, the thin gill of the meat upwards.

In another bowl rub the butter into the flour and sugar until you get a thick gloopy crumb. Sprinkle over the peaches as evenly as possible - don't press it down, the lighter it falls the more the preaches melt and the crumb stay loose in the oven.

Bake at 180 degrees for 40 minutes or so - just before the crumbs start to catch. The more heat this is exposed to the more the fruit melts and crumb crisps.

Eat directly out of the dish if there's only two of you, or glooped in cream with friends. The best way to be.

JG

The Fruit-Fairy

22/04 THE FRUIT-FAIRY

If ever there was a culinary equivalent of writers block it would seem to be fairy bread - however there is a regressive spell in food. Sometimes called nostalgia, but this is more magical than that. Going back to basics, early memories and the 90s has steamed a relentless train of thought moving too quickly. Growing up with my idols as fantastical guides is something that I've always taken for granted. With all the stars that are out tonight, I can't help thinking that we're all blackstars allowed a time to glow before returning to the quiet darkness. 

One small ember lighting the path for a moment is fairy bread with fruit bread - a camp combination born from a loafs bottom (hmmm...) - but actually a great deviation from tradition. Admittedly this was created out of necessity but there is a magic in gluing a rainbow to some sticky fruit. When the rest of the world is moving at a pace far too rapid to handle this will raise a spirit. Sending you back to the Neverland of childhood. I'm just a lost boy, ready to be found - I don't want to grow up.

 

*The 'art' on the plate was drawn in 1993 - even then I knew I was lost

 

 

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

1 Slice Raisin Bread
Butter
Rainbow Sprinkles

What I did -

I cant even believe that Its required for this to be put in words, but liberally butter the bread making sure that the entire surface is sticky. Pour a small handful of the 90s rainbow and scatter across the bread until you're holding a small square of technicolor magic.

Eat and step back in time - there's no return from Neverland.

JG

 

Gypsy Cure-all Egg

02/01 GYPSY CURE-ALL EGG

My soul is rotten to the core on day one of the new year. The past two weeks ringing the death knell, a toll for which we all must to pay the price. We live to tell, its human nature. Passed on from village to village, the soul reviving power of hot polenta is akin to gypsy magic - indeed it likely is.

The cornmeal is almost an instant savoury porridge - delicious, hot and salty like popcorn. The peppery egg yolk adds the body and nutrients needed to kickstart the long process of bodily recovery. So this trampy thief has pillaged this simple provincial meal and found the only remedy needed to take your consumed sins and wash them away. Dark lady made black magic.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

150g Polenta

200ml Boiled water
1 Egg yolk
1 tsp butter
Salt + Pepper

What I did - 

You don't want to over think this, so will keep it brief. Put the polenta in a saucepan, pour in the boiled water. Stir on heat until absorbed. Add the butter and salt and stir until melted into a soft golden cloud. Empty into a bowl and then make a small hole in the top. Rest the separated egg yolk on its golden pillow. Crack over enough pepper to make you sneeze violently.

Spoon, mouth, recover. Will cure everything.

JG

Villainous Popcorn

20/10 BURNT CARAMEL POPCORN

Addiction is not to be taken lightly and, like Gollum's uncontrollable lust for the ring, this is mine. Popcorn, the one snack to rule them all. Cinema is my one true love, add popcorn for an addiction I will take to my grave - eat enough that wont be long.

The notion of Burnt-Salted-Caramel-Popcorn is so grossly on trend right now, but I promise there was no intention of it being as such. Instead it ticks all the block(heart)buster boxes and is so wildly moreish there is no escape. The amber shards of bittersweet caramel with the ethereal salted popcorn are a dichotomy of dark and light inspired by the greatest cinematic duels. Opposite forces intrinsically linked, catastrophic and delicious. Don't tempt me indeed, give in to the burnt-caramel side of the corn.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

1 cup Popcorn Kernels
1 cup Sugar
100g Unsalted Butter
1 1/2 tlbs Salt (flakes)


What I did - 

First step - Pop the corn. Start by melting the butter with 1/2 tablespoon of salt in a large deep pan (30cm or so). Add in the orange popcorn kernels and stir until the butter has completely melted.
Put the lid on and wait until you start to hear a symphony of miniature explosions. Using a tea towel hold the lid in place and shake over the heat - just so the popped corn doesn't stick and burn. Once the rattle subsides turn the heat off and rest until silent. Tip into a large bowl to cool, scattering over the remaining salt flakes.

The next part is not difficult at all, just involves patience and calm - both of which I lack resulting in a failed first attempt. However, if you do nothing but wait patiently it will be fine. Tip the sugar into a heavy bottomed saucepan, ideally cast-iron or copper. Put onto a low heat until the sugar has melted. DO NOT STIR, you can swirl the pan if the caramel is darkening too quickly, anything else will crystalize the sugar (my initial downfall). Once it has reached a dark burnished gold it is ready.

Now is the time to act quickly - but calmly. Just breathe. The caramel cant be off the heat or else it will harden instantly, so swiftly tip it over the popcorn and using a large wooden spoon as fast as you can mix it through. Don't be afraid to use force, the caramel will fight back. Turn it onto a baking tray and spread it out as much as possible. Its easiest to crack it now before it sets too hard and stick to the tray, using the spoon keep it moving and cracking until its set.

By this stage its easiest to use your hand to crumble the golden shards and puffy corn into a large bowl ready for an epic movie. It wont be sickly sweet - instead salty, buttery and bittersweet. It's my precious.

JG