The Anti-Pasta

08/06 THE ANTI-PASTA

"Puttanesca is Italian for very few ingredients" - a one word recipe which i learnt early on while I read and got lost in a series of unfortunate events. From the moment I read that it took a life of its own until now whenever making pasta I hesitate to add anything more than very few ingredients. It is an unfortunate event that pasta is often drowned in red sauce popped from a jar, when pasta is really a stage for ingredients to perform.

In saying that I rarely every make a 'sauce' for pasta, more a dressing. Here it is really a mix of the very few ingredients left in the kitchen - a handful of marinaded mushrooms, the last tomato still clinging to the frail vine and a roaring chilli waiting to fire up. This also brings me to the second meaning of pasta puttanesca transcribed by Nigella as Sluts Spaghetti. Simply meaning that its usually made by us slackers who use leftovers and preserved ingredients to their last breath. 

I have to confess that reading about the Baudelaire orphans improvising a delicious, makeshift meal was the formative inspiration of this orphaned ingredient. I know that this isn't correct pasta alla puttanesca, it is a variation of the two translations the name inspires. Its what I had lying around... and there are nights when you're too lazy to go out looking, look closer to home theres always something in a pantry.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

200g Pasta (any you have)
1 Tomato
1 Chilli Hot
100g Pickled Mushrooms (antipasto stuff)
1 Handfull Mixed Salad Leaves/Spinach/Roquette
Balsamic Vinegar
Salt + Pepper


What I did - Oven preheated to 180degrees

First salt a small saucepan full of boiling water - don't hold back. Add your pasta of choice and keep a lazy eye on it as it cooks. Slice the tomato into discs and throw under a hot grill, close to the top so that they will blister rapidly. Do the same with the chilli. The oils and juices in the two will release quickly as the surface scorches.

Cut the mushrooms in half (or smaller if they're larger than a button mushroom) and with their marinade add to a large bowl. Once the tomato and chilli are hot, massacre with a knife until they become a red mush then add to the bowl. Douse in a hearty slosh of balsamic.

The pasta should be ready, before straining the water add a handful of green leaves to wilt instantly (basil, spinach, roquette, salad leaves... anything). Sieve the pasta and greens well. Tumble into the bowl with the mushrooms and tie the whole lot together. The rough and frustrating tangle of pasta will sedate any stresses, and untangle a jumbled head. A tangle of unfortunate ingredients with a good heart.

JG

Slutty Spaghetti

21/11 SLUTTY SPAGHETTI

I can't pretend this wasn't a little-big mistake. In the sense that my eyes were bigger than my stomach, and was remedy to a tipsy series of events. I know I am preachy about avoiding tomato-based pastas, I am guilty of contradiction here. There is very little tomato sauce used, and is more of a vegetable ragu which happens to be on top of pasta - tactical answer, avoid the question.

I call it slutty because it takes inspiration from Pasta Puttanesca which translates to tarts spaghetti, and involves few ingredients usually found in the kitchen. This one is more slutty, involving all the ingredients I found and is my remedy to a long best-forgotten weekend. Unabashedly eaten from a big bowl with a glass of wine to match. This pasta is all about anti-shame, for you should never feel guilt for indulging any urge. Take the chance and try to steal a fiery kiss, the next day eat this.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

300g pasta (dried, this is no fuss)

100ml tomato paste
1 shot Campari/1 glass of wine (I know but trust me)
250g Tuna (in oil)
1 onion
1 garlic clove
1/2 tsp Chilli flakes
1 Tomato
Shreds of cabbage
grated stem of a Cauliflower
Parmesan
Parsley

What I did - Two Pots. One Glass of wine.

Don't over think this at all. Put the pasta into a pot filled with water, salted like the mediterranean sea,  and boil. While its cooking, say 10 minutes, prepare the sauce.

Finely dice and fry the onion and garlic, until browned to remove the acrid burn. Add the chilli flakes and then add the alcohol. Now the Campari i used is only in a small amount and adds sweetness but also a strong bitter hit, which counters the salt of the sauce and pasta - take it as you will or use wine if your eyebrow is raised.

Add the grated cauliflower stem to the sauce and stir in, adding some body to the sauce base. Then fry in the cabbage and chopped tomato. Check the pasta at this point, it should be ready to strain. Return to the pot with a slick of olive oil. Back to the sauce, add the tomato paste and then the can of tuna - avoid the cardboard tuna in brine at all costs. Don't stir too much or the tuna will break up, instead let it heat through then you're ready to be filled.

Put the pasta into an extra-large bowl. Cover with the chunky sauce, this isn't an elegant meal and should be eaten guiltily and solo. Scatter parmesan and parsley and take your glass of wine to the sofa. There's no need to look around you or stand on ceremony, just fork all the golden noodles up from the depths of the bowl, collecting the sauce on their way to the impending doom of your waiting mouth.

Use the wine to help yourself through, originally drunk as a digestive in the middle ages so appropriated here. No matter what your problems are, they will all slowly be replaced with pasta fullness. Food is life, life is theatre - never let the curtain close.

JG

Unextpected Fungi

04/11 UNEXPECTED FUNGI

Sometimes your fridge takes you on a most unexpected journey. Pasta often sends me in all directions, the urge to fork slippery strands into my mouth leading on. Also its deceptively easy to throw things together with the illusion of having a plan. Which is exactly how this fungi fettuccini came about. My aversion to red pasta sauces, so often just glugged out of a jar, means I do anything possible to make non-tomato pasta. I was also cooking for someone who despises parsley so we ended up in a Scandi-mediterranean tangle.

Exorcising tradition once again, the only part cooked is the pasta. All other ingredients are raw, but change character as they succumb to the pasta's scalding tentacles. The sauce ends up buttery and sharp, with a strong headiness from the musky mushrooms, walnuts and dill. Fettuccini got lost in a Scandinavian forrest and ensnared the wild mushrooms, a long way from home.

Ingredients (all approximate) - for two

200g Pasta (100g per head)
500g Mushroom

Large bunch fresh Dill
100g Walnuts
50g Parmesan
2 Lemons
50g Butter
Salt & Pepper



What I did - 

Not essential, but I did take a moment to make the pasta. It's beyond m simple, and I enjoy regimenting my day (only ever bother on a day off) according to what needs to be prepared and when, leaving the time in-between to potter around. I use Stephanie Alexander's recipe but use whatever flat pasta your have/find.

The water for boiling the pasta should have the salinity of the sea - reducing the salt needed later - so shake it in. It shouldn't take more than 5 minutes to cook the pasta if fresh, a little longer if dried, but make sure it still has some bite to it as it needs to carry the mushrooms.

While boiling slice the mushrooms into a large bowl, thin and flat. Juice the two lemons, don't fuss about pips or pulp get it all in there. Finely chop the dill and blanket over. Chop the walnuts roughly in a separate bowl.

By this stage the pasta should be perfect, but check as you go. Strain it quickly, leaving it wet to touch. Return to pot and add the chunk of butter. Stir through as it melts, slicking all the tendrils. Add the walnuts and stir through again. The butter and walnuts should melt a thick woody dressing, time to cut though it with the lemon-mushrooms. 

Tip the fungi bowl in and stir everything through, amalgamating the lemon with the butter and mushrooms with the pasta. Let sit for a few minutes, the mushrooms will warm through and soften. Unfurl the pots contents back into the large bowl. Grate on curls of parmesan and any leftover dill. White wine. Bon fungi.

JG