Confusion Cake

28/10 CONFUSION CAKE

Following the deceptive pixie, this is a grippingly dark recipe - in need on an uplifting force. I haven't felt the true do or die spirit when cooking for a while. Comfort zones are best left to those who can afford beige. The only absolute here was the need to produce a desert for a sunday lunch provided with love. What came next is hard to explain.

I did have apples. I didn't make milk. Or sugar. Or useful flour.  So with that the best course of action is to bake a cake. Obviously. Now baking is a thing of precision and science and Art which has elevated itself to a primetime BBC broadcast. This is no such thing, basically try to find things that resembled cake ingredients  - coconut milk, plain flour, molasses. And hope that if you throw caution and faith to the wind then a sweet aroma will come back. Somehow this miracle worked. Although it was dark, treacly and delicious - It does need cream to help it convert to delicious.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

1 Apple
200ml Coconut milk
2 Eggs
50g soft butter
1.5 cups Plain flour
1 tsp baking soda
150g Molasses (dark sugar, anything really)


What I did - Oven preheat into 180

Line a small baking dish with some butter smears and flour. Then coat the base in sugar/molasses. Slice the apple thinly and fan around the dish - ideally elegantly, but its going to be eaten so no stresses required. In another please don't stress.

Once lined and ready, prepare the batter by using the all in one method. Simply because there was no way of really telling if it was going to work so throwing caution to the wind seems the best idea. Beat it until it completely comes together (the qtys listed worked, however in finding this balance there was a bit of a guessing game - it should be a smooth light batter).

Pour over the apple lined tin and bake for 30 minutes in a 180degree oven. Check at this stage if it needs more, if the skewer is sticky give it another 5-10 minutes.

When it's ready take the dish out of the oven and let to cool for 15 minutes or so - until you feel comfortable enough to turn it out. Flip it quickly onto a plate. The foil will come out easy, then gently peel it off - don't rip it unless you want the mess that is photographed here.

Don't stand on ceremony, just cut it and eat it. Seeing a mess may make you feel less so.

JG

Poisoned Apple

24/06 POISONED APPLE

Apples are the embodiment of deadly beauty. Their eternal temptation and mystery are encapsulated in biblical mythology, Grimm faerie tales and endless reels of celluloid. I have always enjoyed believing in the far-fetched, if only for the fantastical stories told through the ages taking on a life of their own. A glistening apple instantly foreshadows doom, rich in waxy beauty.

To me an apple is both delicious and repulsive, I can't stomach the skin - I may be alone in this but it has grown into a dire aversion. Raw apples are always peeled of their poisonous skins. However something magical happens when they are cooked. Roasted or stewed with its skin and core looses all acrid taste (to me) and becomes its true darkly delicious form. Baked in a sugared, smoked whiskey they become burnished golden treasure waiting to be conjured from the oven. Time and willingness to accept mystery will transform this forbidden fruit - Before the poison.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

13 Red Apples
1 tbls Raw/Dark Sugar
1 shot Whiskey
1 tsp butter


What I did - Oven preheated to 160degrees

Line all the apples up for the chopping block. Don't peel them, just cut out their core then into even-ish pieces. Tumble into a cast iron pot, or ceramic baking dish (so long as it has a lid). Shower the sugar over the apple pieces, then douse them with a heady shot of strong whiskey. Stir them around so that the sugar and whiskey poison each of the apple pieces. Nib the butter in the centre of the pot so that as it slowly cooks the butter will melt down and caramelize with the run off sugar and whiskey liquid.

Bake for 3-4 hours. Don't stir. Don't look. Don't dare do anything. Just let it simmer away, the apples will wither and darken, the sugary-poison filtering through completely. Turn the oven off and leave to cool overnight. You can eat this hot, but the heat from the sugar and alcohol kills the flavour. Best to have cold, with a substantial dollop of cream. The apples will have transformed into a darkly mischievous treat, daring you to take another bite.

JG