Confusion Cake

28/10 CONFUSION CAKE

Following the deceptive pixie, this is a grippingly dark recipe - in need on an uplifting force. I haven't felt the true do or die spirit when cooking for a while. Comfort zones are best left to those who can afford beige. The only absolute here was the need to produce a desert for a sunday lunch provided with love. What came next is hard to explain.

I did have apples. I didn't make milk. Or sugar. Or useful flour.  So with that the best course of action is to bake a cake. Obviously. Now baking is a thing of precision and science and Art which has elevated itself to a primetime BBC broadcast. This is no such thing, basically try to find things that resembled cake ingredients  - coconut milk, plain flour, molasses. And hope that if you throw caution and faith to the wind then a sweet aroma will come back. Somehow this miracle worked. Although it was dark, treacly and delicious - It does need cream to help it convert to delicious.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

1 Apple
200ml Coconut milk
2 Eggs
50g soft butter
1.5 cups Plain flour
1 tsp baking soda
150g Molasses (dark sugar, anything really)


What I did - Oven preheat into 180

Line a small baking dish with some butter smears and flour. Then coat the base in sugar/molasses. Slice the apple thinly and fan around the dish - ideally elegantly, but its going to be eaten so no stresses required. In another please don't stress.

Once lined and ready, prepare the batter by using the all in one method. Simply because there was no way of really telling if it was going to work so throwing caution to the wind seems the best idea. Beat it until it completely comes together (the qtys listed worked, however in finding this balance there was a bit of a guessing game - it should be a smooth light batter).

Pour over the apple lined tin and bake for 30 minutes in a 180degree oven. Check at this stage if it needs more, if the skewer is sticky give it another 5-10 minutes.

When it's ready take the dish out of the oven and let to cool for 15 minutes or so - until you feel comfortable enough to turn it out. Flip it quickly onto a plate. The foil will come out easy, then gently peel it off - don't rip it unless you want the mess that is photographed here.

Don't stand on ceremony, just cut it and eat it. Seeing a mess may make you feel less so.

JG

Pixie Jar

18/10 PIXIE JAR

In the flick of a wrist, in just a flash, you'll land a prince with a tonne of cash. Wishful thinking. As sweet and glistening as this faerie godmother of biscuits look, be warned they are prone to taking a dark turn. This was in a moment of transcendant hesitation. I had no idea what was going to come and something so perfect and pretty was always going to lead me astray.

This recipe is easy to let turn dark. Over working the crumb, too long in the oven, a heavy had in the jar… This is about being gently and calm. Let things happen and trust that they all do for a reason. This was what happened the first time I made these, spontaneous and camp biscuits. They were a treat which paved the way for darker versions. Be warned this pink faerie isn’t as wholesome as she looks. But she is very moorish and who doesn’t like twinkling in the dark.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

200g Flour

60g sugar

125g Butter

1/2 tsp vanilla paste (no extract, has to be viscous or dry – even use vanilla sugar if you need)

50g Waitrose Raspberry Sugar*

*Trust me on this, there is no substitute. Unless you can’t get to a Waitrose in which case just find a camp sugar

What I did - 

The thing with shortbread is that its short. Short means quick. Short means easy. Theoretically.

Begin by grating the butter into the sugar. This makes it easier to mix without melting and it would be a lumpy mess if the butter melted while mixing. This way the small shavings of butter are coated in the sugar evenly and when bakes will belt away creating the shortbread crumb. 

Add the flour to this mix and use your fingers to flutter into a humbly mess. It will not look anything like a biscuit dough. In face it amy look like a bowl of pale sand. This is all okay. When its all combined, no large butter lumps and no patches of flour floating around you can start wodging into something that resembles more of a dough. 

The problem is if you over work it the butter melts and you end up with a very dense crumb and end up with a kindergarten biscuit. Keep the mix dry and turn on to a bench. Here you can work it into a loose lump and then roll to about 1cm. It should not hold together, instead use a big knife to cut into fingers and then use to slide under and transfer to a baking parchment lined tray. Repeat until your suitably frustrated. Transfer to the fridge and chill for half an hour.

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees. Dust each biscuit gently with the pink magic sugar. Bake for 15 minutes. Don’t let the pale colour fool you, it is cooked. 

Leave to cool for about 10-15, until you can slide them to a cooling rack to dry out completely. 

Ifa ll goes to plan you end up with a really delicious crumble shortbread. If it doesn’t like the other times I’ve tried this you end up with a dark, sweet biscuit best suited for drowning in coffee. Either way win/win.

JG