Mad Mushrooms

15/01 MAD MUSHROOMS

In summer I find that all hope is lost. The unbearable heat of the Australian sun leeches the energy and life out of anything it touches. While relishing the european chill I have been hearing horror tales from home - houses razed to the ground by the sun, pedestrians spontaneously combusting as they try to cross the molten pavement. These mushroom have been assaulted by a similar heat, and ominously foreshadow the state of my return.

In all this apocalyptic heat, this recipe makes virtue of necessity by way of reducing the fungi to its final concentrated form. Their heads and stems are blistered of their moisture leaving a much stronger flavour only enhanced by the heady spices. They may look withered and frail, but these mushrooms pack quite the punch. Mirages appear through the heat while hallucinations play with your mind. Where are you? Where am I? It doesn't matter, just eat.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

500g Mixed brown mushrooms

1 Sprig Rosemary
1 Tsp Nigella Seeds
1 Tsp Red Chilli (flakes)
50g Butter
Salt + Pepper

What I did - Oven at Desert Heat (~200)

It was just a matter of tumbling the mushrooms through their spicy dust storm (toss through the spices) and then onto a baking tray. Dot nibs of butter across the mushroom heads, so that they sit on top and will melt into the gills.

Blast in the scorching oven for about 20 minutes, or until they have shrivelled to half their size. The heat of the oven (fan forced, hot as possible) should evaporate the majority of their moisture leaving the mushrooms concentrated and heady.

Tumble onto plates, scrape all the dried seasoning over. Serve with bread and eat like its the last day on earth.

JG

Ice-Creamed Dynasty

07/01 ICE-CREAMED DYNASTY

It seems fitting that this recipe comes nearly two months after it was made, simply because it was waits for the right - most decadent - time to be released upon the world. It is coming from the heart of chilled churned cream, Florence - playground of the Medicis. A century spanning family empire with nearly as much drama as Joan Collins' Dynasty, although half as fabulous. Ice cream is a product of their glorious city, and this was made just as I embarked on my epic that brought me here.

No honour of those surviving the heat back home, please don't shy away from this recipe. It isn't as hard or dangerous as it seems. If you do feel fear in the face of brining the Medici empire back to culinary life feel free to go to the shops and get an ice cream. I will feel comforted knowing you are enjoying something with me, dynasties and seas apart. Chin chin, wipe your chin.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

300ml Cream
300ml Milk
4 Egg Yolks
150g Castor Sugar
2 Vanilla Pods
50g Fig Jam

What I did - 

*Ice cream isn't complicated, it just involves some equipment or commitment. An ice cream machine or a churn on a mixer will take all the mystery out of freezing the cream. Otherwise you can commit to the whisk and churn the custard manually in the freezer every two hours or so. About five times and on the last churn add the jam like below.

But first things first, make a runny custard. Scald the milk, cream and vanilla in a pan until verging on boiling. Take off heat immediately. Beat the eggs and sugar until pale and thick. Remove the vanilla and scrape out its glossy black seed paste back into the milk. Quickly beat a cup of milk into the eggs to looses and warm the mix. Once combined beat the rest in fast without letting too much air in. 

Return to heat for a few minutes until thickened, but not enough to set. About five minutes constantly stirred. Chill mix in fridge until cold or overnight. Then ready for its beating, churn churn churn.

Turn the ice cream mixer on a slow speed and churn the ice cream for about 10-12 minutes. By this stage it should have thickened and formed a thick soft serve. Pour into a container to freeze overnight. Before clamping down with a lid, tip the fig jam over and mix it one or twice with a spoon so that the pale beige cream is ribboned with gleaming streaks of jam. 

Set to freeze over night. Serve in a cone or in two wafers to make a decadent Medicice-cream sandwich.

JG

Gypsy Cure-all Egg

02/01 GYPSY CURE-ALL EGG

My soul is rotten to the core on day one of the new year. The past two weeks ringing the death knell, a toll for which we all must to pay the price. We live to tell, its human nature. Passed on from village to village, the soul reviving power of hot polenta is akin to gypsy magic - indeed it likely is.

The cornmeal is almost an instant savoury porridge - delicious, hot and salty like popcorn. The peppery egg yolk adds the body and nutrients needed to kickstart the long process of bodily recovery. So this trampy thief has pillaged this simple provincial meal and found the only remedy needed to take your consumed sins and wash them away. Dark lady made black magic.

Ingredients (all approximate) - 

150g Polenta

200ml Boiled water
1 Egg yolk
1 tsp butter
Salt + Pepper

What I did - 

You don't want to over think this, so will keep it brief. Put the polenta in a saucepan, pour in the boiled water. Stir on heat until absorbed. Add the butter and salt and stir until melted into a soft golden cloud. Empty into a bowl and then make a small hole in the top. Rest the separated egg yolk on its golden pillow. Crack over enough pepper to make you sneeze violently.

Spoon, mouth, recover. Will cure everything.

JG